Your mind is a tool not a dictator.

When were children we accepted thoughts as coming un-bid into our minds. And it is true that memories are evoked by the actions you are taking right now.

So many try to justify their actions by blaming them on passed events.  We are lenient on criminals because of their upbringing. We hold back telling a friend bad news because they have had such a hard life. We are selfish with our friends because we didn't get enough love as children.

As adults we recognize that we are fully responsible for our thoughts and actions. If we insist that how we think is how other people should behave, then we are building unrealistic expectations. We are not the rule makers for everyone else.

Our actions are happening now. The only connection that an event happening now has to the past is your memory of it. That is just rationalization. You are connecting the dots where dots are not intended to be connected.

By recognizing that you are in control of your mind, by recognizing that you have a choice about how and what you think, about how and what you say to yourself, you begin to master your mind as a tool.

At first this is strange. You have always been taught that what you think is who you are. In fact, you are more that what you think and how you behave. You are a spirit, a life force and it is to that life force, that awareness of being aware that you give control.

So step back for a moment, and monitor your thoughts. Imagine yourself standing in the corner of you mind and seeing your thoughts and feelings as words and images.

You only need to do this a few times to realize that you can change what you do and say to yourself.

Some people love drama and so create drama for themselves. I once heard it said that some people will never admit that they are ordinary people. Instead they create drama in their lives by imagining themselves related to royalty, or by associating only with certain people they deem worthy.

No one is ordinary. Each and everyone of us is totally unique. There will never be another you, to quote a famous song.

What we choose to tell ourselves creates the expectations we have of the world around us. And, yes, we choose our own thoughts even when  they have become so habitual that we are convinced that there is no other way to think.

The thoughts  that are in your head and the words you choose to express them with, to yourself or the world around you, are your own. It is those thoughts that create the feelings and expectations you have about the world around you.

So take responsibility for your thoughts, for your imagined standards, for your expectations. And, remember words are just empty air unless you take action. You may tell yourself that you intend to do something, but the words are worthless unless you actually do that something.

Who is in charge of your mind?

Even in a country where the state controls every public action, you can take charge of you thoughts and how you express them to yourself and others.

In some languages there is no single word for mind. Instead the word for spirit is used.  Besides, there really is no mind, it is only a word we use to relate a bunch of things we do in our brain.

So master your thoughts. At least begin the journey.

        

You expect fairness. You expect a big reward. You expect respect from others. You expect love. You expect your wife to wait on you hand and foot. You expect your husband to treat you as an equal. << MORE >>

We often hear of the press putting a spin on an event or finding the right angle for a story.

When something happens the press want to report on those stories that will most catch our attention. And, it must have a story, a sense of drama that remains with us and encourages us to read on and follow developments each day.

What is a story and how do you make it dramatic?

Let's begin with words. A word is a symbol for the real thing. A symbol not the real thing. So we can easily string words together to ...<< MORE >>

You're walking down the street one day and a perfect stranger walks by. As you pass him, he looks you straight in the eye and smiles.

"What a wicked smile!", you think to yourself.

You draw your own conclusions.

The facts are simply a stranger walking by looks at you and smiles. Yet, in your mind you have to answer why. You have to give it a meaning that is compatible with your beliefs. You have to interpret the events.

You are playing in a singing circle and one of the players is sitting looking at you intently.

...<< MORE >>

All experience is memory and we are constantly revising those memories based on new experience.

One moment after you have lived an experience, it becomes a memory. And, revisiting a memory at any time, causes some change to it. You are looking back with today's eyes. And, that look back paints the memory a different colour.

All behaviour is subjective and unique to ourselves. And, it all depends on your choice of words. I say I am being objective, you say I'm not being objective enough. And it's all subjective.

Memories are in your mind.  You are the ...<< MORE >>

Your happiness is your responsibility.

Happiness comes from appreciating what you are and what you have, accepting life as it is and focusing your expectations on yourself not the world around you.

We are a materialistic society. Many of us just want things, stuff as though getting more stuff will ever satisfy us. It is happiness we are looking for.

Yet how many of us ever stop to think that we are responsible for our own happiness? Happiness is not something we discover under a rock somewhere.

Happiness is Joy in the Moment.  Happiness is appreciating a breath of ...<< MORE >>

Michael J. Fox, despite his Parkinson's disease has learned that happiness increases directly with acceptance and decreases directly with expectations.

If someone with a terrible condition as Parkinson's disease can learn to accept life as it is, should an able bodied person not be more easily accepting?

If you accept life as it presents itself to you without expectations, happiness will increase.

If your only expectation of life is that you will experience it and you accept whatever life gives you, you will be much happier.

If you expect that people will behave a certain way toward you then ...<< MORE >>

Have you ever been so curious about an idea, so fascinated by your thoughts that you have allowed yourself to explore them in every aspect?

Allowing yourself to follow the thread of a thought can totally change how you think, how you view the world and yourself.

For example, if you are trapped by paranoia,  fearing that others are thinking badly of you or plotting against, you decide to explore if that is truly the case.

Surely you want to know whether it is true, so you start by examining factual, real evidence.

Of course, you want to ...<< MORE >>

Thinking is neither right nor wrong. It is what it is. Thoughts are the undirected flow of words and images in your mind.

Thinking is not action. Thinking is not the same as Being. Thinking is not doing.

It has been said that we judge others by their actions and ourselves, by your intentions. Judgement requires thinking.

Our intentions are just thoughts without action, a salve for our egos. As long as we believe we will do something, we can console ourselves for our lack of action.

Some of was want some white knight in shining armour to come ...<< MORE >>

Imagining is not the same as living! You can engage your mind in 'what-ifs' about the future. You can spend all your time imagining 'what-ifs' about the past. Your life is happening, NOW, while your attention is focused elsewhere. Neither disappointment about the past nor worry about the future make any difference to the outcome. You still experience life moment by moment. << MORE >>