We go about our lives as though we are in control, then get frustrated by things not turning out the way we expect them to.

Why can’t we be as successful  as that person? Why can’t our lives be as wonderful as that movie personality?

When we are thoughtful. we realize that we cannot control the world or even others that are in our immediate environment. The only person we can control is ourselves and how we choose to think about what is going on around us.

It takes a lot of courage to move from a negative attitude about the world to a positive attitude. It’s scary because we don’t know if it “will work”, if after all our efforts, we will truly find joy.  This is especially true if, in our experience,  things that happen do not bring us joy.  Reaching passed that fear will make us stronger and happier.

Remember, change gets easier the more you stick to the new way of doing things. Set a goal to test you new way of looking at things. Stick to it for 3 months then 6 months, then a year.

Go back to some happening that made you unhappy. Find some way of interpreting that event in a happier light.  Did you learn something from it? What if you had taken a different point of view? What if you had talked to yourself in a different way? What good can come of it?

How look at the world and how things happen is your choice.

Here a ten points that you could consider to get you started.

1. Stop looking for bad events. So often I hear people say “Bad things come in threes”. In order to confirm that, we ignore the good things that happen to us and just keep adding the bad things.

On the other hand, there are no good or bad things that happen to us, only experiences. We choose to name those events either good or bad, depending on what we are expecting in the moment.

2. Don’t over-dramatize events. If we have something insignificant happen to us that makes us unhappy, we are likely to exaggerate its importance. We tell ourselves that just proves how unlucky we are. The truth is, unless we are looking for something to prove that we are unlucky, an event is just an event. One event does not have a memory of an other. Only your thinking connects the dots.

3. Examine your expectations.  We want the world to treat us a certain way. We want things to happen to stroke our egos, to make us happy, to bring us joy.

We have not control over what the world gives us. We can set our goals and just to walk a certain path. The journey will give us joy only if we find joy in each step. What we experience as we walk toward our goal, is just that, experience.

If we imagine that every moment will be magic, every moment will bring us happiness then we are expecting something that life cannot give you. Life cannot make happy. But you can find happiness and joy in living.

4. Examine your thoughts and  thinking habits. Your thoughts are the choices you make to tell yourself about the world. At some time when you were a child you were at the mercy of other peoples thinking. They interpreted the world for you.

You may have some underlying disease or genetic inclination to view the world from a given point of view. Only you can decide to do something about it.

Now you can interpret the world for yourself. Become, aware of the way you think about the world. Choose to think in a way that brings you joy. So, there are no excuses. If you can think, you can be joyful.

5. Find joy in the moment. Each and every moment you live brings something new. You have this new moment which you have never lived before, nor will you ever live it again. Be joyful in your experience of this moment.

6. Accept life as it comes to  you. Our destination in life is death. We can pretend it won’t happen, we can deny it, we can act as if it is somehow some evil accident.

Our journey is one way into the unknown. We live in our bodies full of awareness of this life. Once our bodies no longer exist, our awareness will be different. Taste everything that you have now in joy.

7. Give back for what you have. Easily the most difficult thing to do is help others when you see only misfortune in your life. No matter how difficult you find life, there will always be someone whose life is more difficult that yours.

Let other’s know that you are happy because you are aware. Because you are living in this moment.

8. Enjoy your family.  Your family is the closest bond you will have in this world. If you can let your family know that you respect them, that no matter what they do, you can give them unconditional love. And, expect no less from them. Blood is thicker than water. Don’t make there behaviour a condition for your love.

9. Enjoy your friends. Your friends are a reflection of yourself. They bring things to you that you also bring to them. You share common likes and dislikes. Again, give unconditional love to your friends. Stick by them when they are having difficult times.

10. Be grateful for what you have. Think of all you have. Every small gift, every breath you take, every thought, every awareness of life. Even one small gift, this breath I take in this moment, can bring me joy. It is my attitude, my choices, my way of thinking that bring me joy.

Start with just one small thing about yourself that you think makes you unhappy. Then appreciate that it makes you unique, that it makes you who you are. Who you are is how you interpret your thoughts, how you are aware of life. And it is all up to you because only you can know what you allow yourself to think.

The first step is your choice. And each step after that comes from that choice. Do you want to be happy? It’s up to you!