The Meaning Is You

Thoughts In Technicolor

2011-10-23T19:44:11Z

Thoughts are not a thing nor are they fact.

A thing is an object that one need not, cannot, or does not wish to give a specific name to: "that metal thing"; "things I'd like to buy".

You cannot take a thought out to measure, weigh or touch it. It is not a thing. A thought is a series of electrical impulses in your mind. When you focus on something, the thoughts relate to that thing. When you allow random thoughts to come into your mind, a lot of thoughts are just random pulses.

Thoughts impact you as a person depending on whether you accept them as truths or believe in their importance. Thoughts are tools to help you understand yourself in relation to how you see the world. Thoughts are not laws, not rules, just your opinion, your interpretation of how you interact with the world.

Your mind is your private place where you paint the colors of the world as you wish to see them. Your are an artist when it comes to choosing how you want to see the world. Your fears, your weaknesses, your strengths, your beliefs, your thoughts make the world mean what you expect it to mean.

Your are intellectual, emotional, spiritual, physical all at once. You cannot stop any of these things from being and influencing your mind or your thoughts. You may wish to be more objective, but you still have those qualities acting all at the same time.

Being objective or subjective is just a philosophical thought. Nice to think about them as being separate from each other, but in reality, never apart. Subjective and objective are philosophical ideals. Just some words that were invented to focus our minds on ideas, to relate to us the ideal of being.

I recently read an article that purported to show that thoughts were things. Not once did that article define thing as being an object.

Another article asked you to 'think with your heart', which is to say that don't think, just act impulsively. According to that article, the expression "think with your heart" came from ancient times when it was believed that we thought with our heart instead of our mind. So to think with your heart is equivalent to saying the earth is flat.

No matter what happens to you, you are totally capable of thinking the thoughts you want. People live with tinnitus, a constant ringing in their ears caused by damage to the inner ear. How? By focusing on what they choose to do and think. You direct the focus where you want it. If you want to be driven crazy ,focus on the noise, real or imagined.

If you want to live life fully focus on thoughts of your choice. Thoughts are neither facts nor things. They are tools to understanding if you allow yourself to look at things and events from different points of view.

How Do I Change?

2011-10-18T21:01:43Z

Wanting to change is the starting point.

First you must understand and accept that you want to change. You must understand and accept full responsibility for what you want to change. No one can change you unless you are prepared to accept change.

1. Identify what it is you want to change. Change comes about as a result of insight. That ah-ha moment when you recognize that something has changed in your thinking to make you see yourself in a different light or from a different point of view.

2. Examine your opinions about that which you want to change. This requires you to mentally examine your opinions and beliefs. Our opinions are just thoughts that we accept as true. An opinion is nothing more than accepting what we believe based on what we assume is true. Opinions are often a mask to cover our feelings of fear and inadequacy.

3. Look at the thing you want to change from different points of view. People have different opinions and beliefs because they see the world from within their own minds. The world as they see it is different from the world as you see it. Even a close friend, relative or spouse sees the world from a different perspective. There is no one unique point of view. So don't be afraid to examine your beliefs and opinions.

4. When you are using your mind in this way you are using it as a tool. Your mind is a tool. You misuse it when you fret about something. When your worry about 'what if's' or regret 'should haves'. Focusing your mind on constructive projects, like changing some behavior in yourself, is using your mind for what it was intended. It is a tool.

5. After all, you choose to change and you choose what you want to change to. Choosing another point of view gives you control over yourself. And that is true very every person in you life. You cannot force others to think like you do. Their mind view of the world is not your mind view of the world. So choose a point of view that you are comfortable with that is different from you current point of view. Then everything will change in step with your new beliefs.

This requires you to do some careful mental self examination. This is where change begins. This shows that you are an adult and are ready to accept responsibility for your thoughts, words and actions.

This requires you to think about what you assume is true and real and what you know is real. A tree is real. How you picture it in your mind is just a memory of a tree. If you want to discover trees, you have to see the trees before you and examine each in detail.

I have known people to never allow themselves to review of their own thoughts and opinions. They cannot accept other peoples' interpretation of events. Only their opinion matters, and if you do not agree then you are their enemy.

I once had a neighbor ask me if my dogs were from the same litter. One was a pure black cocker-spaniel and the other a grey shitsu-poodle mix. The cocker-spaniel had curly hair, a cropped tail and stood a full head above the shi-poo which had straight hair and a bushy tail.

I quickly realized that his internal image of a dog was just that, a dog was a a dog. He had never focused on the differences in breeds.

I once studied art from a book by Betty Edwards. In it she shows that some people never get passed how they learned to draw in grade school. Their idea of drawing a person is still a stick diagram. In her book, she shows how anyone who studies her system can upgrade their internal image of how to draw a person. It is a mental process of studying people in detail and updating how you see.

For years I tried to overcome my shyness so that I would feel in control when I sang before an audience. I've tried many techniques and recently tried self-hypnosis and reverse film techniques. These have been quite successful. So when I am preparing to sing on stage, I now only need to say to myself "You are a professional. You can do this. " While I have not eliminated all the feelings I have, I do feel much more calm and in control in front of an audience. I also think appearing before an audience as often as I can has also helped.

The reverse film technique simply requires you to feel everything from start to finish of an episode when you start to feel shy and self-conscious, but to imagine it as a film running in reverse from when you feel shy to when the beginning just before you started to feel that way. Do it several times. This has the effect of "spoiling" your memory of the event.

You are the master of change in yourself. You can change, but only can choose. It may take time, and it may require much thinking and self-discipline, but you can change if you choose.

Understanding - The Power of Your Thoughts

2011-07-18T22:41:37Z

The single most important thing is Understanding. I learned this from many people both from books and conversations.

There is no secret Understanding that you don’t already know. You are just not yet aware that you know it. Many of the popular psychology writers provide similar information in a more or less direct fashion. I hope that this article helps you become aware and make use of what you know.

Sidney Banks explained the Three Principles that govern how we interact with our environment.

The first Principle is Mind, the life force that every being has. It is that life force which gives us Consciousness.

Consciousness allows us to be aware of our life force and our thoughts.

Our thoughts create the world as we know it. Our thoughts allow us to interpret the world and the experiences we have at all ages. It is our understanding of the world that places what is important to ourselves foremost in our minds.

Every human action and thought results in feelings. Thoughts create feelings.

We can choose what actions we want to take and focus our thoughts on those actions. We can choose which memories we want to entertain in our minds.

Once you understand the importance of Thoughts and how they can affect your day to day emotional state and behaviour, you can make more efficient use of your mind, by focusing on your moment-to-moment actions.

Change is the default human condition. As today slips into tomorrow a new day brings new experiences that you have not lived through before. Sure, you rely on your previous experience to handle day to day problems, but they are never actually, exactly the same.

Nothing is gained by beating yourself up with recrimination, bitterness or regret, by reviewing all things you wish you could change in your past. They cannot be changed. That has just been the story of your life up to this moment.

Nothing is gained by worrying about the future. You can only do what you can in this moment, here, now, today. You can only work toward your goal moment by moment, day by day.

The idea is to free your mind from the past and the future. That doesn’t mean you need to forget the past. You just need to keep the pleasant memories and the lessons learned from past experiences.

When your mind does drift to the past, you can challenge every thought you have, by asking if that is really what happened or just your private interpretation. That will change how you feel about that memory.

When something occurs in your relationships with others, you can challenge every thought for its validity.

When you begin to feel sad or depressed, think of why you believe that you should feel that way.

A belief is accepting something as true when it cannot be proven. A belief is a thought to which we become attached.

I recently realized that I had a belief about talent. I don’t believe it exists. Or, at the very least it cannot be measured. So when someone commented on my guitar playing that I was so much more talented than they are, I started to argue my case.

You only recognize talent when a person has acquired a skill. Skill takes a lot of work, 53 years in my case. So where is the talent? How much of it is talent and how much hard work? I was annoyed even more when the person said I had a gift.

My wife commented that that person probably believed they were complimenting me. Whereas I was thinking of it as minimising and dismissive of my efforts to be a good guitarist.

After some thought, I realized that from their perception, they believe that there is such a thing as talent. That is their interpretation of the world. Who am I to change their beliefs?

I am happy now to be aware of this tool; questioning the reality of any belief. This tool teaches me to be more aware of my own reactions in the moment. And, if I am preoccupied with memories of the past, I try to stay focused on how I am feeling.

A feeling is a signal that something needs to change either in your response to something that happened to you now or in the past or is happening to you now.

You do not need to believe any thought you have. A thought is just what you imagine in your head. Your mind always gives you options, allowing you to choose whether you want to entertain a positive or negative thought, a happy or sad thought.

Always give yourself options by asking about any thought “What if that is not true?”, especially when the feelings you are having are not pleasant and you are feeling fearful.

When you fear for your life, that is wise fear. When you fear because of what you think you can or can’t do, that is much less wise.

For some time, I have been counselling people anonymously, mostly teenagers, on a mental health website. My answers to their questions is almost always the same. I try to specifically address their particular circumstances after telling them to contact their family doctor for a referral to a mental health caregiver.

I ask them if they ever wondered about how their minds work. I quickly explain the 3 Principles in a few lines. Then explain how thoughts create feelings, how the thoughts they are having at that very moment are creating the bad feelings they are having. Then I point out that negative thoughts and memories create negative feelings. Positive thoughts and memories create positive feelings.

Here is another question I like to ask. What if you were to wake up tomorrow morning with your heart full of joy? How would the world have changed? What would you need to change in yourself?

It is all about your thoughts.

Just As I Thought

2011-07-17T20:09:18Z

Our brain is as unique to each of us as a fingerprint and our perception of the world is just as unique. We build our idea of the world thought by thought in the privacy of our mind.

From the time we take our first breath through every moment of our lives, our minds are generating thoughts. Our minds become a tool when we focus on being in balance, on our environment, or working on a specific task.

Balance is achieved when we are aware of ourselves as a single being, not separate physical, spiritual, emotional and rational parts and when we are focused in the moment.

When we are not focusing our attention on something specific, our minds continue to generate random thoughts based on our interpretation of previous experiences, emotions and fears.

Thoughts connect us to our world. You connect to the world with your eyes and ears to gather information, but it is your thoughts that help you understand and make meaning. Thoughts are not a perfect tool. We colour the new information with our interpretation of the past.

Whenever something is happening before your eyes, you try to understand it with your thoughts. You focus your attention and your thoughts on what is happening and as result you respond with emotions, then take the necessary action.

Feelings, or emotions, are a response to your thoughts. Without thought, your life would have no meaning and no feelings. So how you think makes a difference to how you feel.

Thoughts are Our Experience

Thoughts are your interpretation of your experiences. Thoughts include both words and images.

Memories are thoughts of past events.

Imagination is the use of thought to create unreal experiences, like daydreams and what if scenarios, within your mind.

While you sleep your mind is unfocused. This allows random thoughts to flow into your mind. The dreams and night mares are the result of random thoughts in a sleeping, unfocused mind.

Beliefs are thoughts you accept as true without proof. Beliefs are thoughts to which you are attached. All your thoughts are measured against your beliefs.

While experiencing the world, we form rules in our minds about how we want to interpret the information we are getting. These become our beliefs and expectations about how the world should behave when we are present. Beliefs are what we expect of the world. We may believe those rules are logical and right, even though others may have different rules that they believe are logical and right.

These rules are how we explain the behaviour of the world to ourselves and how we explain our behaviour to the world. When we encounter something new we search our minds for a similar event and evaluate it according to our existing rules. Often we may overlook differences and miss an opportunity to learn something new.

While we are children, our parents and adult guardians greatly influence the rules that we make to interpret the world. But, once we are old enough, we begin to rebel against those influences and start to make our own rules, sometimes keeping the rules our parents offered and sometimes totally rejecting them.

We can focus our minds anywhere within our mind, body or environment. If we focus on our feelings of fear, our minds can generate thoughts to explain and confirm those fears.

Our minds are never idle. If your mind is not focused on a task, random thoughts tend to flow in to keep the mind busy.

As we sit idle during the day, daydreams occur. Our mind continues to work by sending us random thoughts from weird associations of words and images. If we focus on them, they seem to become real. If we believe them, if we believe that they are offering true meaning then the fears and emotions we feel, can become our focus.

On the other hand if we allow random thoughts to enter our minds and we believe we need to try to follow each and every changing thought, to act on every thought, we can become totally unfocused and not know where to turn our minds.

Our thoughts of the world around us can lead to frustration, anxiety and stress, as we imagine the world is not living up to our expectations. Left too long stress and anxiety can lead to depression and a sense of not being able to cope with what is happening in life.

If we believe that we are our thoughts and not separate conscious beings, we become protective of our thoughts, beliefs, and rules as though they were real.

During the night as we sleep our minds continue to work. Random thoughts generate dreams. Our minds continue to try to make sense of these thoughts by making a story of them. Some dreams are pleasant, others, nightmares.

To find peace and calm within ourselves we need to focus on a balance within ourselves and to focus on our surroundings.

If we focus on what our minds are producing randomly or on resulting feelings, then we become disconnected from our relationships, our surroundings and ourselves.

Sydney Banks Three Principles Psychology

Sydney Banks wrote one of the most all-encompassing models of psychology.

I recently read his Three Principles Psychology.

Banks three principles are Mind, Consciousness and Thought.

Mind is the Life energy that enables our existence, our Consciousness.

Consciousness is being Aware of our life form, our existence, our ability to think and our ability to feel.

Thought is the mind activity that permits us to interpret our world, our reality. We create our reality of the world with our thoughts. Our Thoughts create whatever we imagine; what if scenarios, fear, anxiety, stress and we believe it is real.

All thoughts, and all human activities, result in feelings. Thoughts are a reaction to our environment, our experiences and our memories. A thought isn't real; it's just in your mind, yet it allows us to create our own reality.

Through Understanding these Three Principles, how they determine our lives, we become peaceful and calm.

Only with personal insight do we gain Understanding. Our thoughts create our meaning of world. We, each of us, create our own personal world.

While you can guide a person along the path to understanding, only they can come to an insight in the private place that is their mind.

Your mind is a tool.

You can direct it and focus it on solving your problems, on what you are doing and thinking in the moment.

You can never be not thinking. Left unfocused your mind fills with random thoughts. Thoughts create feelings. Disastrous thoughts create disastrous feelings.

We all get random thoughts. A thought is just a thought. You do not need to do anything about a thought. You do not need to take it seriously or do anything about it. You just focus on what you are doing.

If you start to believe that those random thoughts are real, instead of just memories of past experiences or imagined what ifs, you can start to feel anxiety, depression, sadness and soon your thinking is out of control.

You can control your thoughts by directing your mind to take a different perspective on your experiences and beliefs. You can control your thoughts by focusing on what you are doing in the moment.

Sometimes, just realizing that you have a choice as to how you can react to a situation will change your whole outlook. Sometimes, just changing your point of view, trying to see it through someone else’s eyes, will produce enough change to bring you that insight.

Life is a journey best lived in the moment. The past is what we remember of our experiences. It is no longer real. The future is what we imagine will happen. It is not yet real. The only time we have in real time is now, this moment.

Meditation is Easy

Meditation is just quiet time and relaxation practice.

Here is a simple method:
Sit in a quiet comfortable place.
Breathe slowly in and slowly out.
Focus on the sound or feel of your breath.
If your mind wanders, just bring it back to the sound or feel of your breath.

You can do this anywhere. Do it for three breaths or one thousand.

This exercise worked frequently will help you to practice focusing moment to moment while giving you a time to keep your mind busy on something else. Joy and confidence come from feeling peaceful and calm in our selves.

Whose Memories Are Right?

Every child in a family remembers things differently. Every human being has a different perspective.

Simply because you are in the middle of things as they happen does not mean that everyone will tell the same story as you tell yourself. Each person will have their own unique perception of what happened, how things unfolded, how things affected them, how they tell the story to themselves, how they explain to others.

Everyone’s perception of events is right from their perspective, because that is what they have experienced through their thoughts and feelings.

You can tell others the story from your perspective, but you will never change their perception of reality.

"Accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Breathe in deeply of life. Be grateful that that you were allowed to experience life.

Change Your Thoughts.

Change begins at the individual level. It can only be personal. A person will not change unless they choose to change. You cannot change another human being until they are prepared to change. Each of us has the power to shape our own world, the world we think in.

Being philosophical about life means that you reflect on the meaning you give experiences. You accept that life just is what it is. You realize that how you think about something creates the feelings you have. The same experience can result in different feelings, both positive and negative, but also in simple neutral acceptance.

Life is not out to get you. Life is just the flow of experiences that happen to you, both good and bad. How you think about those experiences and what's important to you in those experiences and where you direct your thoughts in remembering those experiences can change how you feel about life right in this moment.

For example, if you were involved in a serious car accident that left you with scars and damaged your legs so that you always limped, your outlook on life could be either negative or positive. You could feel sorry for yourself to the point of not wanting to do anything or you could pick yourself up and expect everything to go on or be better than before. You could go out and counsel others on the dangers of poor driving; you could help those who have suffered more than you.

There are as many attitudes to life experiences as there are people. Your brain is as totally unique to you as is your outlook on life. Your mind is your private world. Your thoughts are your connection to life. No thoughts, no meaningful life.

This stresses how important thinking about how you think is to leading a peaceful and joyful life. You cannot bring feelings into your life without thinking. You respond to everything that happens to you with thoughts. How you respond in your thoughts to what life throws at you determines how well you feel.

How you respond in your thoughts to what life throws at you determines how well you feel. The question is what do you believe should happen and is that a valid expectation or just a make believe rule? And, if it is just a belief you have, then why are you letting it make you feel bad?

Take complete responsibility for all your thoughts and actions. You have free will. Others are not annoying unless you let them annoy. It is just how you choose to think about them and their actions.

It’s not the experiences you went through that determine how you feel. It is how you think about them.

You can choose to spend all your life thinking about the experiences you had, being bitter and regretting your past. Or you can focus your thoughts on what you are doing moment to moment, right now, to make a better life for yourself.

Only your thinking can bring joy into your life. So focus on what you are doing now and enjoy the moment. And, soon enough you will have a whole series of joyful moments to look back on!

If you believe that you can get over your painful experiences, then you will.

What is it you believe should happen? Is there a different approach to how you see your thoughts that will make you feel better?

Beliefs aren’t bad in themselves. They help you to make decisions about and to understand of life from your perspective.

A belief is not useful if it condemns you to reliving painful memories or feeling bad about yourself. A belief is just a thought. It isn’t real or cast in stone. You can change your mind.

Then take the steps toward your life goals, moment-by-moment, day-by-day. That is all we can expect of ourselves.

Finding Peace And Calm

2011-07-09T14:41:34Z

Our brain is as unique to each of us as a fingerprint. Our perception of the world is unique. We build our idea of the world thought by thought in the privacy of our mind.

From the time we are born to each moment in life we make rules about our experiences that are meaningful to ourselves. We may expect the world around us to behave according to our rules. We may believe those rules are logical and right, even though others may have different rules that they believe are logical and right.

Your mind is a tool. You can focus your mind on any part of your body. Take the time to focus on the back of your shoulders. Do you feel the tension? If you are sitting, feel where your buttocks are touching the chair.

You can focus your mind on what you are doing moment to moment. And you can bring joy into that moment by remembering the feeling you had whenever you were joyful.

Left unfocused your mind fills with random thoughts.

Thoughts create feelings. Disastrous thoughts create disastrous feelings. A thought is just a thought. You do not need to take it seriously or believe it. You do no need to do anything about it.

Make plans for the future. Then each day do something that brings you closer to your goals. If you want friends, then be a friend.

Start to practice to relax. Joy and confidence come from feeling peaceful and calm in ourselves.

Here is a simple method:
Sit in a quiet comfortable place.
Breathe slowly in and slowly out.
Focus on the sound of your breath.
If your mind wanders, just bring it back to the sound (or feel) of your breath.
You can do this anywhere. Do it for three breathes or one thousand.

This exercise done frequently will help you to practice focusing moment to moment while giving you a time to keep your mind busy on something else.

So focus all your efforts, your thoughts, your mind on now. That is all that is important. That is all any of us have.

Article: Joy is a Thought:

Sources:
Life long experience and learning.
A great insight from the works of Sydney Banks.

Video 1: Sydney Banks, A Quiet Mind

Video 2: Tanya Kennard, A Free Mind

If you need a diagnosis ask your family doctor for a referral to a mental health caregiver.

Joy Is A Thought

2011-07-05T13:20:19Z

Sure, you connect to the world with your eyes and ears, but it is your thoughts that give everything meaning. Without thought, your life would have no meaning and no feelings.

So how you think makes a difference to how you feel. Thoughts create meaning, and as a result, feelings.

Your mind is a tool. You can direct it and focus it on solving your problems, on what you are doing and thinking in the moment. When you are not using your mind as a tool or focusing on something you are doing then random thoughts come in to fill the vacuum. You can never be not thinking. Even as you sleep your mind does not stop as it creates dreams.

If you start to believe that those random thoughts are real, instead of just memories or imagination you can start to feel anxiety, depression, sadness and soon your thinking is out of control.

You can control your thoughts by directing your mind to give different meaning and beliefs about meaning.

This stresses how important thinking about how you think is to leading a peaceful and joyful life. You cannot bring feelings into your life without thinking.

Only your thinking can bring joy into your life.

So focus on what you are doing now and enjoying the moment. And, soon enough you will have a whole series of joyful moments to look back on!

Thinking About Thoughts (A continuation)

2011-07-01T17:22:00Z

Your thoughts are the answer to everything you experience.

How you respond in your thoughts to what life throws at you determines how well you feel.

This rule is true for all human beings.

In our minds, we make up rules, our beliefs, our expectations. And, if circumstances break those rules we get upset, we get angry, we get anxious, we let our feelings affect our well-being.

You have no control over what life throws at you. You can only control your response with your thoughts. Take a different view on what you think and your feelings will follow.

What is it you believe should happen? Is there a different approach to how you see your thoughts that will make you feel better?

Then take the steps toward your life goals, moment by moment, day by day. That is all we can expect of ourselves.

All those Experiences

Its not the experiences you went through that determine how you feel. It is how you think about them.

You can choose to spend all your life thinking about the experiences you had. Or you can focus your thoughts on what you are doing moment to moment, right now, to make a better life for yourself.

You can think about your thinking. That is the gift of consciousness. Random thoughts will bubble to the surface. You do not need to believe, or act on every thought.

Thoughts Bubble Up

How you choose to think and what you choose to do about random thoughts will determine how you feel. Thoughts create feelings. The way you think about your life experiences can change how you feel.

Your mind is a tool. Focus on what you are doing moment-to-moment.
Now is important. All other thoughts are not important to what you are doing.

Our brains are as unique as our fingerprints. Every human being has a different perception of reality.

Change begins at the individual level. It can only be personal. Each has to see what our power is to shape our world. The world we think in.

A person will not change unless they choose to change. You can not change another human being until they are prepared to change.

Whose Memories Are Right?

Every child in a family remembers things differently. Every human being has a different perspective.

Everyone’s perception of events are right from their perspective, because that is what they have experienced through thought and feeling.

You can tell others the story from your perspective, but you will never change their perception of reality.

"Accept the things I cannot change,the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Breathe in deeply of life. Be grateful that you were allowed to experience life.

That is the premise as I see it of Three Principles Psychology explained by Sydney Banks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBozKxHbF…

Also check out a number of videos in the same channel.

Thoughts – The Answer To Everything

2011-06-29T14:12:00Z

You respond to everything that happens to you with thoughts.

As you progess from childhood on, you make up rules, beliefs and expectations about the events, experiences, and circumstances to understand what is happening. You believe that theses circumstances are happening to you because you are present.

You interpret these as your experiences in life.

You have no control over what life throws at you. You can only control your response with your thoughts.

In our minds, we make up rules, our beliefs, our expectations. And, if circumstances break those rules we get upset, we get angry, we get anxious, we let our feelings affect our well-being.

How you respond in your thoughts to what life throws at you determines how well you feel.

The question is what do you believe should happen and is that a valid expectation or just a make believe rule? And, if it is just a belief you have, then why are you letting it make you feel bad?

Your thoughts are the answer to everything you experience.

What if it's not true?

2011-06-26T22:48:00Z

I've been curious about the workings of the mind since I discovered psychology at the age of 14. I've read many books on that subject including Freud, Jung, Adler, and many of the popular self-help books including "I'm Ok, You're OK", Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Tony Robbins, Eckhart Tolle. I have several shelves full of books.

My first insight into how the mind works and how it is the source of what we understand and believe was when I read NLP. NLP talks about being programmed by the adults that surround us while from our blank state at birth, when are growing up, to when we start independently judge our own experiences.

Eckhart Tolle shows you the how to and importance of living in the moment. While studying his books with a group called Conversations with God, I gained an insight that has changed me greatly. The changes were not instantaneous, but have been gradual. The insight is simply that your world is inside your head. We create our reality of the world with our thoughts.

Recently I read about Sydney Banks and his 3 Principle Psychology. Banks three principles are Mind, Consciousness and Thought. Mind is the Life energy that allows Consciousness. Consciousness is being Aware of our life form and our ability to think. Thought is the mind activity that permits us to interpret our world, our reality. We create our reality of the world with our thoughts.

All thoughts, and all human activities, result in feelings. Our Thoughts create whatever we imagine, and we believe it is real. Fears, Anxiety, Stress are all created by our thoughts and we believe those thoughts. Thoughts are a reaction to our environment, our experiences and our memories. Thoughts create our feelings.

Thought is very private and subjective, in our own head. That we have Free Will means that we can choose to act on our thoughts, to allow a thought to dominate our behaviour. A belief is a thought to which we have become attached. One which, we allow to dominate our thinking and behaviour.

For years, a cousin of mine would call our family whenever she was in the neighbourhood. She lived at some distance from us, but often called on relatives in our city during holidays. Members of my family all felt that she was being a pest, just calling us to pick her up at the bus station.

One day I mentioned how I felt to my sister. She was startled by my impression. "Oh, no", she exclaimed, she (our cousin) just wants to keep in touch with our family, and keep the family together." I was taken aback by this answer. My belief was that she was just using us. But, then I thought about my sister’s perception.

From then on, I looked forward to hearing from my cousin. And, when, in the end she died, I missed hearing from her. She was the only connection that I had to my mother's family. And, she had understood that and tried to keep us together.

So, in one instant, in one thought, I changed my belief. One thought.

Let's say you believe that you can't sing in public because you are too shy. What if your belief isn't true? You can sing anywhere. What is stopping you? One thought. You are allowing the thought that you are too shy or what would people think and so on, to make the decision for you.

I recently performed in public after practising singing over the last 3 years. I always felt that I wasn't good enough. But, I began to notice that a lot of people just sing to be heard, sing because they love performing and singing in public. They don't seem to be concerned with 'not good enough'.

I bought some self-hypnosis Cds, listened to a workshop on the Alexander Technique on Youtube. I read about 3 Principles Psychology. I was determined to overcome my shyness. When I finally walked up on stage, I was totally surprised by how comfortable, calm and peaceful I felt. I was preoccupied with playing my guitar, keeping in sync with the other players, exchanging riffs and then actually singing.

As I sang, I was preoccupied with hearing my voice over the amplifier, making sure I was close enough to the mike, making sure I was loud enough and not too loud and, aware of how I was sitting to produce the best sound. My Thoughts were focused on what I was doing. I forgot to be shy!

When it was over, I was ecstatic. It was over too soon. I could have stayed there a much longer time. Here I was just one thought away from my overcoming shyness. I had to the make that decision. I had to be ready in my mind, then I simply forgot to be shy.

It is my mind, my thoughts. If I choose I can do anything.

You need only take one step passed your fears. Your fear is a thought you are entertaining in your mind. That thought is not real. Touch whatever is in front of you right at this moment. Where is THAT fear in that touch? It doesn't exist. You are imagining it. Your are creating fear by dwelling on that thought.

You don't need to act on every thought. You don't need to believe every thought. But, when you do, you have chosen to make that thought real. Behaving solely out of fear, as when you think yourself shy, is making real something that is not.

So next time you say "I can't because...." Ask yourself, "What if it isn't true? What would happen if I can? What would I accomplish if I didn't make myself, my thoughts, the obstacle to my actions?"

Thoughts: A Small Collection

2011-06-25T01:00:00Z

A thought has little substance. Today's moment is tomorrow's memory. We live in our imagination.

A belief is a thought to which we become attached.

A thought can create anger, anxiety and all other feelings.

Now there's a Thought. The only experience we can ever have is through our Thoughts.

Our experiences are coloured by our mood, come to think of it.

You can believe your thinking, or you can see it as just another thought.

Wisdom comes when you gain Understanding. Life is lived in your mind.

Life is the meaning you choose to give to the experiences you have. You can choose a negative thought to dwell on, or you can focus on a positive thought. You have free will. You choose.

You own Wisdom. Wisdom is peaceful and joyful. Wisdom is quiet thoughts, not angry, worried or unhappy.

The Thought you are thinking now is creating those feelings, even if you are dwelling on old memories. By focusing there you are ignoring the memories you are creating now.

Choose another thought that brings you peace and joy. And you gain access to your innate Wisdom when you climb over the fence of your negative thoughts.

You can imagine that the voices come to you from outside your head or you can imagine that you are just imagining the voices. You can believe that the world is against you or you can believe that it is all up to you. It's just a thought you choose to believe.

You can believe that no one likes you or you can choose to be everyone's friend. It's just a different thought. It's your mind, your thought, you choose.

Every experience you feel through your thoughts. Every thought creates new feelings.

Thought creates feelings. Thought is a tool that you can use to create the feelings you want. Want joy and peace? Think joy and peace. Remember your happiest most peaceful moment. Then pay attention to the moment you are in now.

Your Mind, Your Story

2011-06-22T22:56:00Z

What you imagine is reality is coloured by the distress you feel. You do not need to believe every thought you have.
You are not the story you tell yourself about your experiences. What you choose to make your reality is up to you.
"I can't because..." is just the story you tell yourself. You can if you choose. You can BECAUSE you can choose.

“There is nothing wrong and there is nothing to be afraid in most of human experience. It is just that your mind will trick you into believing there is. You are always OK.”
Mara Gleason.

I Was Just Thinking

2011-06-15T18:02:47Z

About Words, thoughts, actions, reactions.

Thoughts are the undirected flow of images and words in your mind. You can choose to dwell on the ones you like, and are important to you, or you can dwell on everything your mind chooses to drop on you. There is nothing that says you need to act on every thought or that every thought is true or real. Thinking is personal, unique to you, and is just in your mind.

Words are just symbols of meaning, to which we attach feelings and emotions that seem to make the word mean so much more. It's not the dictionary meaning that is important, but the emotional investment you have in the word.

If you and your son or daughter are on the outs, try thinking about the word ‘son’ without feeling the anger or any emotion.

Even images of a memory are something you imagine because you attach emotional responses to it. Your focus is on those parts of the memory that are important to your emotional response. So if your father was strict with you, and you are still angry with him for this, you will focus on the strictness and downplay any kindness he may have shown.

And, if you think you have a 100% memory of what happened, then try this. What was the colour of the shirt your were wearing that day? What did you eat for supper that day? What were you smelling, tasting, hearing, feeling, touching, seeing all that day?

We only remember what we were focusing on, what we felt was important at that moment, and what was causing the most emotional response. We do not remember everything.

Thinking allows us to interpret ourselves and the world around us. It is justification of our actions, our beliefs, our being in the worlds around us. Thinking springs from our experiences and how we give them meaning. That meaning is personal and unique to ourselves.

For example, when I talk to my brothers and sisters about our parents, now deceased, I am often surprised at how they describe them. It is as if we each had different parents. And, in a way that is true. Not only have our parents unknowingly treated us differently, but we each focused on something different, something we each thought was important to us.

In every way, we each had different parents because the meaning we give the world in our mind is personal, unique and just in our minds. We control what we focus on in our minds.

If your mind is tied up with worry or regret, you are not concious of focusing on this moment. You are not in the moment.

Worry is dwelling on thoughts that create unpleasant feelings. Worry is about feeling and predicting that you will not be able to meet what is required of you.

Regret is dwelling on memories of past events. The past is what it is. You no longer have the option to change it. The past in no longer present.

All you have is this moment you are now breathing. And in this moment you see, hear, touch, taste, smell whatever is in front of you that you conciously focus on.

That is not to say that it is sometimes worth thinking about the past. If you choose to review some past event to get back some old pleasant feeling or to see the lessons learned and do it consciously there is no problem. However, if you let worry or regret overwhelm you and govern you in the present, you are allowing feelings from the past and your imagination about the future to control you.

Your body reacts to everything you think or do with a flow of hormones and chemicals. These in turn generate associated brain chatter. The brain chatter is like a small computer program that runs whenever a feeling or event triggers it.

You can start to control this by realizing that it is your brain and you control it.
Then whenever your brain starts to chatter, you make a deliberate effort to call it just that "brain chatter". You dismiss it as not important. Do this often enough whenever you get the same unwanted feeling and you will automatically think "brain chatter".

So next time you get a thought that causes to lose focus on this moment, examine what is happening in your mind, explore what is happening in your body, be aware of any tensions or feelings and know that they are coming from what you are thinking. You don't have to stay on those thoughts. You can focus on what you are living and breathing in now.

You Direct Your Mind

2011-06-14T18:02:00Z

When my grandson was visiting recently, we went out to play soccer. I had a key in my pocket which managed to drop out somewhere in the grass. Later, when I became aware that I had lost the key, I immediately went out to look for it.

Since I had learned some lessons from cleaning up after my dogs, I scoured the grass in a very systematic way. I started a pattern vertically from my house going back and forth about 3 feet apart. When I had covered the whole yard and still hadn't found the key I changed my pattern to a horizontal one going across the back of the house. When I was half way through the last sweep, I found the key.

Even in this simple exercise I realized there were lessons to be learned. I had to remain focused and cover as much area as possible. Since the key was hidden behind blades of grass, I had to come on it from a certain angle, or it would not be visible. I had to change my point-of-view.

As with much in life, we are not aware of what we are not focusing on or of what remains out of sight. We do not know what we do not know. But, we act as if we do. We make assumptions, we pass judgement and we act on those. We are basing our thinking from our limited point-of-view.

Sydney Banks, a philosopher-teacher, said that thoughts were the brush you use to paint your world. Some painters choose to paint sombre, sad and dark paintings while others choose to paint cheerful, sunny, bright paintings. You choose the brush you want to paint with.

Judgements and assumptions are nothing but ideas, thoughts and sometimes mindless brain chatter. We do not need to believe or act on all our thoughts. We do not need to react to what we feel as a result of what we think. We can choose what we do, how we act. We can be deliberate in our actions and thoughts.

That is why it pays to give attention to your thoughts in the moment, and the feelings that result. This is how you learn to direct your mind.

If you are unhappy, is it that you are thinking about being unhappy? What else could you think about? You can choose what you want to think about. You choose the thoughts you want to think and where you want to focus. You control your mind.

What is Talent?

2011-06-07T00:04:15Z

Ask anyone to tell you what talent is and they are likely to say the can’t exactly describe it, but they know it when they see it.

When do you say a person is talented? When a person demonstrates a certain proficiency at playing an instrument or singing.

How did they become skilful at singing or playing that instrument? They had to learn the basic skills. Was it some mysterious gift or were they just willing to buckle down and learn the skills? Were they willing to listen to someone playing the guitar or listening to a singer and imitating them?

If talent is something you are born with, then surely you can pickup a guitar or piano or start singing right out of the crib, even before you learn to walk or talk. Isn’t that what instinct is? Is that what talent is? Wait a minute, how can someone learn to sing before they can even say one intelligent syllable?

It's interesting to note that you don't say that a person has a talent to walk if they learn to walk early. Or, even if they learn to say a few words earlier than most. Yet, pluck a guitar string, pound a piano or dance around to sounds and you definitely show talent.

If you meet a very successful surgeon would you say that he is talented? How much would you rely on talent alone to save you from a serious disease? Or, would you rather he had studied all the latest medical advancements and been tested on his learned skills before he operated on you?

Talent is a very elusive concept. Skills are not. First you need to learn to speak. Then you need to hear someone sing. Then you need to realize that singing and melody and rhythm and harmony all work together.

You may be a good imitator and realize that there is a way of hearing what is being played by focusing on certain instruments or the singer.

Isn't talent just a curiousity about, an inclination to learn, an interest in how to reproduce the sounds you hear? And, while you are enjoying this challenge you try many things. As a result you develop a number of skills that you learn as you experiment, whether you have a teacher or not.

To me, talent is an inclination to learn, curiousity about something, an interest in learning. You still need to learn all the basic skills. Whether by trial and error, or by learning the skills from someone willing to teach you.

Learn the skills needed to sing or play an instrument, at any age, and someone is likely to come along and say to you,"You're so talented. I can't sing or play 'cause I don't have any talent!"

And, unless you are unfortunately hearing impaired, you can learn to sing or make the sounds you hear once you create the necessary pathways in your brain. Once you teach your brain to associate what you hear with what you are doing, whether your instrument is your voice or one you play with your fingers.

What are You Saying!

2011-06-06T14:27:02Z

The words you choose to speak are meaningful in your mind;
but the listener hears (or reads) what the words mean to them.

You can never know exactly how your message will be received.

Everyone wants to know "What's in it for me?".

Any word can have a different meaning to someone else. For example, the word "husband" has a different meaning to a woman who has been divorced three times than to a woman who has been in the same marriage for 45 years.

We behave as though we know and understand everything and everyone. As though our thoughts must also be those of every reasonable person.

How we see the world depends on the interpretation we give our own experience. Is it helpful to project that interpretation on others?

We can not assume that we know and understand everything and everyone. We don't know what we don't know. Memories are our interpretation of the past. We understand our interpretation of our own experiences, period.

The best we can do is to pay attention to how others react to our words and keep modifying them to get our message across.

Tricks of The Mind

2011-06-02T16:24:13Z

We convince ourselves that we what we think is the TRUTH. Our thoughts are the facts. After all, we are putting our ideas into words, so doesn't that count for something?

If someone writes about something, doesn't that mean it is the truth?

If we choose to read only non-fiction books because we are only interested in being objective, unemotional and dispassionate, are we really choosing to be any of these? Or are we just fuelling our beliefs?

All beliefs are assumptions; all beliefs are unproven convictions. If they were anything else, they would be proven facts and we would not speak of them as beliefs.

If we accept the belief that we can separate our behaviour from our emotions, that we are truly ignoring our feelings in making decisions, then everything we do in our career will simply re-enforce that belief.

Beliefs form a closed loop in how we think. You believe something is true and you discount anything that would go against or disprove what you believe. You direct your attention to, and make more important in your mind, those things that prove your belief.

Because you believe you are more intelligent than other people, those people should not insult your intelligence be doing or saying something that insults your intelligence. You are not a fool therefore you do not tolerate fools lightly.

But what is intelligence? How do you measure it? No one has been able to define intelligence in a way that it can easily be measured without a whole series of assumptions.

We all use the word intelligent as though we really know what it is. We certainly believe that we are intelligent. Yet intelligence has not be clearly defined or measured.

We use the word soul or spirit as though we really know what we are talking about. Yet, the soul has not been factually and scientifically identified.

We can speak words that the human being is an emotional, spiritual, rational or physical being but can we prove it?

We have difficulty proving that these characteristics are separate one from the other. It all depends on your perception and perceptions depend on your beliefs. Perhaps we should stop talking as though our behaviour makes us a fragmented human.

So our language and the definition of words clearly influence how and what we think about. If our language only supported counting to three our concepts about size and numbers would change the way we think about everything. And, there are civilizations that did exactly that.

That is the essence of belief. We use words as though we know what they mean and behave and think as though they are facts.

Beliefs are convictions based on a lack of proof. Our beliefs are so built into our way of thinking that it is difficult to separate real facts from imagined. In fact, we cannot separate our thinking from our beliefs, no more than we can separate ourselves into emotional, rational, spiritual and physical parts.

Yet we can put words on those things as though we really know what they are as though we can see something in our behaviour that identifies each separate part, but in fact, they are never separate. They are all part of the one and same person.

That is the problem. Words do not necessarily match the facts. We can talk about intelligence, for example, as though we really know it exists, but we have a difficult time proving what it is.

Just because we can speak a word that we can look up in a dictionary does not make it any more factual than another word which we do not believe.

What we believe now are truths. What others believe are myths and therefore evil.

Whether we choose to believe something or not doesn't make us superior to anyone else or give us any special advantage. They are our beliefs.

Often we believe something because we are told that unless we believe it there will be consequences. Believe this or you will be punished either now or later.

And we can all prove our beliefs because we have conducted a lot of mind experiments even if all thought experiments are just science-fiction. Every science fiction book I read when I was twelve was a thought experiment.

We all make assumptions and judgements living day to day. Choose to believe or not believe, it makes no difference. You cannot prove a belief either way. And you are still just believing.

Beliefs are something we know because we just think it is so. We interpret our experience as though it proves what we know.

And round and round we go again.

I believe it is important to believe and to allow others to have their own belief unless they threaten the well being of others.

But then, maybe it is all just tricks of the mind.

What do you assume?

2011-05-24T15:17:00Z

Are you like me and most other human beings? Do you believe these two assumptions? You think you know everything you need to know. You think you know more than most.

The danger of course is that you make assumptions and judgements and justify (rationalize) actions about your life within the limited knowledge that you have. And, as you grow older, if you make no effort to update your thinking, you will begin to feel like you are being left out of society.

Just to survive requires very little effort and knowledge. So it appears to even a person with moderate success that he must be more knowledgeable than most. And, highly successful people sometimes credit themselves with all the glory, forgetting that success is not one person's efforts, but the confluence of many events and people.

The most important thing you can know is how and why you think a certain way. You have to understand how your past shaped you when you were a vulnerable dependent child. And, using that knowledge update your thinking so that you see through adult eyes.

Even the most brilliant genius is aware that he knows nothing compared to the amount of available knowledge. Having a high IQ doesn't count for anything if you don't realize that there is more that you "don't know you don't know" than your head could ever hold.

I remember reading that the man with the highest IQ in the world (read that as the US of course) was writing a book explaining everything. Good luck with that, man! Even the man with the highest IQ can delude himself into believing he has an answer to everything. I'd like to see how he explains all my thoughts, all my feelings, all my behaviours when he has no idea what is going on in my mind, or even his own, let alone everyone else. At last report he hadn't written a single useful page.

The best we can do is keep an open mind. Work boldly with the limited understanding we have. Seek to understand ourselves and the people around us. Know that we will make assumptions, pass judgement and rationalize our own behaviour but keep an open mind.
And to accept the world as it is.

Whose Mind Is It, Anyway?

2011-05-23T16:09:00Z

We always choose how we react. Your anger is never the other person’s responsibility. You allow yourself to react by allowing yourself to think in a certain way.

Each person has their own ,sometimes heart-wrenching, story to tell. But, it is important to know that events that occur around you as a child are not about you, they are about the person or persons that are coping with their own lives.

As children, we were totally dependent on our parents or caregivers. They were doing the best they could with the experiences they came through. In any event, they were the adults who should have known how their behaviour would affect their children. They were responsible for their own behaviour and thinking even though they were not aware.

"I needed to change my thinking. As children we are wired to go to our parents for sustenance and love. And to be nurtured. It's like going to the well, but, some parents wells are empty. But, they are not empty at us. They're just empty. And, I always took it that it was empty at me. It was a big awakening." Meredith Baxter in an interview with Beverly on Canada AM about acoholism and about thinking when you are victimized in an abusive relationship.

A victim is conditioned to think they deserve to be victimized because they are unlovable. But, it is not the victim that is responsible;a bully is totally responsible for their own thinking and behaviour.

In the same way, we are conditioned to believe that the other person is responsible for causing our anger. When, in fact, we can choose how we want to respond. There are many choices. You can make a joke, walk away, talk quietly. All are choices that are available to everyone in any situation.

As adults, we need to revisit our thinking when we were children. We need to realize that we were not to blame for our parents' or caregiver's behaviour. They were trying to cope with life as best they could, no matter how badly they were doing it.

We are all responsible for our actions, reactions and thinking. Drugs and alcohol are just a way of putting off decisions and not holding yourself responsible. Change requires revisiting sometimes painful events that, let's face it, we really do not want to relive even in our faulty memories.

So own up to your responsibilities. Only you know your true mind. Take full responsibility for it.

Are You Stronger Than You Think?

2011-05-20T15:53:00Z

We live our lives bound in fear. Afraid of new things, afraid of taking chances, afraid of speaking in public, afraid of singing in public.

How do we convince ourselves that anything new will be harmful to us? Perhaps we are afraid of failure. But, maybe what we are most afraid of the new demands that success will place on us.

Since our thoughts are on our private property, only we can know what goes on in our head. We speak to ourselves with words that are most meaningful to us. We dramatize and even exaggerate the effects of any decision we fear to make.

All human beings make assumptions, pass judgement and justify their own behaviour. But in doing so we create thought patterns that become habitual. These thought patterns replay themselves each time we meet something that is similar to our previous experiences.

These repeating thought programs give a sense of comfort in knowing that we are on somewhat familiar ground. They make each new day seem to be similar to previous days. Not too much change and in full knowledge that you will be able to count on your previous experience to handle it.

But change is inevitable. Each new day is after all a new day and brings with it experiences that are different. Each new day brings us closer to old age and our inevitable death. It is only in our minds that there is a connection between yesterday and today. Yesterday is just a memory.

All this to say that we are well equipped as human beings to deal with change. We simply ignore the differences and behave as though we know the solutions to everything. In the worst case we assume failure and in most cases we assume that everything will remain the same. That is, that it will match our previous experiences of success and failure.

That is where our memories come into play. We remember our success and dread our failures. We flash through thoughts, words and images, that either are encouraging us to take chances or to fear change.

This is happening in our mind. The mind in our heads. So it is up to us to control the words and images. And, we can control where we choose to focus our thinking efforts. If we have made it a habit of focusing on failure, then that is where our minds will take us each time we are presented with new problems and new decisions.

Or, we can focus our attention on what is new and different and accept that change is inevitable. Changing any habit requires effort and requires that you replace an old habit with a new one. We can focus our thoughts on the pleasure that success will bring us. Thus making this a new habit that will become our new automatic focus.

Where does thinking take us?

2011-05-19T18:27:00Z

An idea isn't real until it is put into action. An idea is by definition something that exists in the mind as an image or thought. Memories are images or thoughts that exist in the mind. For the most part memories are just what we focused on at the moment we actually had an experience. Though it is sometimes difficult to accept, thoughts and images in our minds are not real.

What was important to us at the time is where our eyes were looking. We certainly don't remember anything that might have been going on behind our backs! And anything in our peripheral vision didn't have any great impact on what we remember either. So if we remember anything at all it is where our attention was directed, that narrow place where we focused our eyes. And that is only a small part of what is going on in the environment at the time.

Memories are also coloured by our mood at that moment and our emotional response to the experience. Memories are not the real thing. They are what you are able to recall about an experience.

What we think is the result of a reality we have experienced, modified by our imagination and the effects of the emotions we have felt. To imagine something is to see an image or thought in our minds. Every experience or thought we have affects the chemical systems in our body. With any thought or experience or physical activity our bodies generate chemicals and hormones. These hormone levels affect our emotional and physical reactions.

For example if we start to worry about our jobs, or money, we tend to become stressed and anxious. We are thinking about situations and pressures that we put on ourselves for the most part. Many of the thoughts we have are of the "what if" type. We imagine bad outcomes to hypothetical situations, many of which we will never experience. The stress and anxiety create hormone levels in our bodies that make us physically fell the stress.

Even a person who denies having emotional responses is affected by their body chemistry, and therefore, their emotions. The so-called objective person does not exist except in theory.

Thinking does not define you as a person. You, as the person you are, define your thinking.
How you respond to a situation is your choice. The moment of decision may be very quick but it is still your choice. When you experience something you evoke memories of similar situations. You tend to react in a similar way to how you react in those remembered situations. If the situation made you angry before you are likely to feel the same way again. But, you can make a different choice now if you want to.

Because of the physical component, the hormone levels and the creation of hormones, I believe that one day we will realize that there is a large genetic and hereditary component to our personalities and our reactions to the environment. In the meantime, it is best to admit we don't know everything and to react with compassion to those who are shy or react differently to situations. After all you don't know what you don't know.

Your thoughts are not you. You are more than your thoughts. Thinking is not real until it is put into action. Thinking is a tool when it is focused on doing and creating.