The Meaning Is You: Recent Comments

Comment on What if it's not true?

valou — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 22:24:21 GMT

I really love your message; makes sense to me, like I know inside but put too much reality into my thoughts as I am often bored in my mind, feeling guilty as a result and dwelling on it.
Thank you

Comment on Coping with Stress and Anxiety

Gilles — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 23:12:24 GMT

My suggestions follow:

If you are unhappy, is it that you are thinking about being unhappy? What else could you think about?
You can choose what you want to think about. You can choose how you react to any event. After all, it is your mind.

Memories are just that, movies in your mind based on your interpretation of past events coloured by your emotions. The thoughts you have are a reaction to the emotional stress you are under. They are nothing but brain chatter resulting from your emotional reaction.

Are you prepared to forgive, not for your spouse, but for yourself?
Anger, it is said, is like taking a poison pill and expecting the other person to die.

In your mind, you need to focus your attention away from whatever you imagined happened. Focus instead on what you are doing at the moment. A good way to begin focusing is to pay attention to your breathing, to any tension you feel in your body. Gently remind yourself that you want to be in the moment if your thoughts stray then refocus your attention to your body.

Focusing on the past is detracting from your enjoyment of the present. If you plan to continue your relationship with your spouse, enjoy being in the moment together.

These are just my personal observations and are not meant to replace professional counseling. You may need to consult with a licensed professional in your locality.

Gilles

Comment on Coping with Stress and Anxiety

Anonymous — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 20:36:42 GMT

Do you have any advice for a man trying to deal with his wife's infidelity? The idea of not being able to change the past is causing anxiety like I have never felt before.

Comment on Ten Check Points to Improve Your Life (and mental health)

Gilles Hamann — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 14:28:04 GMT

Hi Mike:

Yes, I agree that it is not easy and the dark moments seem to cloud everything.
Luckily, for most of us, our mood moves in cycles, though not always as fast as we would like. We can help it along by focusing on some moment in our lives that brought us happiness.

Having been involved in promoting self-awareness and living in the moment for some years now, I have come to the conclusion that there are genetic as well as learned factors at work.

All sciences of the mind are models, in the same way that all science is a model.
The mind model that I studied stated the assumption that we are born with a blank mind and that everything is learned.

In fact, we are born with physical differences that control the flow of chemicals in our body. Those chemicals also determine our reaction. Our nervous systems respond to the chemical flows. And, since we are not precise machines each of us responds differently.

All this is to say that overtime, we can effect change. One of the mind programs that I continue to work on is performing music before an audience. I feel such stress at times that I have to have the words in from of me. At times I have just wanted to quit because I don't seem to be gaining any control of the stress. Yet, other times, everything goes so smoothly, I wonder if there ever was a problem! It is an ongoing challenge to overcome that underlying fear.

Thank you for your comment and keep your goal in sight.

Gilles

Comment on Ten Check Points to Improve Your Life (and mental health)

mike — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 08:12:35 GMT

it is a good list and even though I already knew the basic principles of what you are saying you do sometimes slip. Meaning even though you know in the back of your head that it is all real simple and you live in the moment the mind does not allow being controlled this easily.
We have dark moments when the rules you just posted are washed away in a moment of anger greed or selfishness, its easier said then done to reprogram your thinking,and time and the lessons of life do make it so you don't slip that often. I praise people who try and make other people aware of their inner self and I myself am always searching and learning, but as you stated before change starts with every individual them self and it is not easy.

Comment on Ten Check Points to Improve Your Life (and mental health)

Gilles Hamann — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 22:12:40 GMT

Thank you. Very well said.
No matter how you feel about your habits, your experiences, your beliefs only you can choose to make that first step to change. No one can choose, or make, that first step for you.

Gilles

Comment on Ten Check Points to Improve Your Life (and mental health)

timethief — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 02:43:02 GMT

My life experiences have taught me that every one of the ten points you have listed are valid. In fact, in some cases I have been a hard learner who had the same lesson presented to me over and over again. Happiness is a choice we make between our ears over and over again every day of our lives.

Comment on Expectations and Happiness

Vinh — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 05:47:13 GMT

I really like this article, usually I don't browse the web much. I've been feeling really off lately and everything that I've put my heart into always seeem to not go right, I came across your site on askyahoo.com and your site is very inspiring. It help me realized a lot and hopefully ill continue to pick myself up each time I fall.

Comment on Being All That Is

Gilles Hamann — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 01:36:02 GMT

Thank you for your comment.

Being is total awareness in the NOW, before our minds can formulate thought and create illusions of understanding.

Truth is a powerful word.

There is no universal truth. I only know my truth.

Words are illusions with which we communicate with our selves and others.

Since thought and words are the same, I like to approach words with "I believe" or "Here is how I think" or "Here's one way to look at it."

Our mind becomes a tool that "I" directs to create. The "Being" that is "I" is no longer slave to the illusions created by an uncontrolled and randomly drifting mind.

At least, that is the way I see it.

Gilles

Comment on Being All That Is

timethief — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 00:41:10 GMT

Your words are so powerful as they are truth.

I am not my body.
I am not the thought I think.
I am not my deeds and accomplishments.
I am the gift of life for this body.

Thank you.